7.01.2011

Our Courtship - Part 2

If you missed part 1 can read it here.

At Caleb's parent's house - meeting the parents & youngest siblings for the first time.

Caleb and I both grew up in Christian reformed Presbyterian homes.
We were both homeschooled.
We were both taught God's word from our earliest years.

Even though we have all of those things in common,
Caleb had a much more strict upbringing than I did.
He comes from a large family (13 children) and I come from a much smaller one (3 children).
He grew up in Virginia and I grew up in Little Rock and Memphis.
I refuse to let the next sentence be:
He's a little bit country and I'm a little bit rock and roll.
Though it would have some truth in it ;)

On our one year anniversary trip in March of this year

Caleb and 7 or so of his siblings became fast friends with my family during the summer
of 2009.
I became close friends with his sisters and also very good friends with Caleb and his brothers.

Something I've been pondering lately:
Now...contrary to things I use to believe...
I don't think it's entirely possible for single guys and girls to be friends or best friends and
something romantic not start to happen. I'm not talking about sex. I just mean romantic feelings to emerge...it's bound to happen.
And the difficult thing in my mind is that when guys and girls think they can "only be friends" and "it's nothing more than that"...hmm ok fine ...maybe...but
really?!
One or the other (or maybe both!) will end up wanting to be more than friends.
What if the other person doesn't return those feelings? Can you still be friends? Really?
Again...please don't post and tell me that it can happen. I know it can. But really?
And what about when single guys and girls are really close friends...
And then they each marry someone else.
Is that a very good idea? For a man to still have another woman (besides his wife)
be one of his best friend? or vice versa?
But that's a whole other topic.
Forgive me ... my mind often wanders to random topics :)


ANYWAYS
We were all friends and had lots of fun times together.
Just everyone hanging out together.
Since Caleb has so many siblings it was always like "oh yes! instant party!".
So for some reason still unknown to me...
Caleb started to like me as more than a friend.
I.had.no.idea.
NONE whatsoever!

But he says that's how he wanted it to be.
He didn't want me to guess.
I guess he was just continuing to get to know me on a friendship level
and I know he was praying about the possibility of me being "the one".

me with Caleb, 3 of his siblings, and my sister in the fall of 2009.

"The heart of man plans his way,
but the LORD establishes his steps."
Proverbs 16:9

 

Caleb never rushes into anything. Ever.
He always has a plan.
Obviously,  plans change. The Lord directs our steps where He wills.

But I was part of Caleb's "plan" and Caleb's plan
happened to be in complete alignment with God's plan.

I just wasn't aware of either plan. Not for quite a few months either.
Apparently,  everyone else on planet earth could see that Caleb obviously liked me.
I still kept missing that key point.

In the fall of 2009 I went through some difficult times.
Just me. Nobody else.
Caleb also went through some difficult times then; his difficulties stemming from mine.
Caleb was one of the few people who knew WHY I was going through
difficult times.

Now Caleb is a good friend. A loyal friend. A prayerful friend.
Caleb is...well...I'm not sure if he's in the 21st century yet.
Now, I say that in a GOOD way!

But it was 2009 and the man had just gotten a cell phone and he didn't have internet access.
He lived just far enough away (1 hr 45 minutes) that he could only visit my family on weekends.
So...Caleb, knowing that my heart was hurting and also knowing that I didn't really want to talk
about why I was hurting inside started to send me a text message once a day.

Now...what could one say to comfort a friend that could be conveyed inside a text message?
The text would look like this:
Ps46, Ps27.3, Ro 8, Gen 7.9
etc.

I thought he was sending me strange codes or something...but NOPE!
Bible verse references!
Each one was very specific to my situation and comforting or encouraging.
He would even order the Scripture references in a particular order for me so
that they would convey one comforting thought.
Now, I know that might not sound like awesomeness to some of ya'll...
but the Lord used this SO much!

Even when Caleb started to send me a text everyday (which quickly turned into me sending him references back...thus resulting in quite a few texts a day hehe) it still did not enter my mind that he liked me. Now I feel sort of like "duh Adri!".
But my heart hurt too much at the time to even think in those terms.

"He answered, 'Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.' "
Matthew 19 4-6
One of our engagement pictures.
But the Lord wanted it otherwise.
What He calls me to, I must obey.
It sounds so simple.
Technically it is.
But it isn't always easy.

...Part 3...

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